One-Star Book Reviews

Reviews of classic books, culled from the internet's think tank.

"a real downer"—Alabama State Textbook Committee, 1983

"a real downer"Alabama State Textbook Committee, 1983

Update on Next Week’s Posts

It’s one thing to write a scathing one-star review of a novel. It’s another to try and ban that book. One-star reviews, while sometimes wildly misguided (and often comical), ultimately add varying perspectives that promote a lively public discourse on literature. Attempting to ban a book is, well, in my opinion, some seriously fascist shit.   

And you know what fascists hate? Laughter. So, next week, in honor of Banned Books Week, I’m going forgo the regular one-star reviews, and post the most outrageous challenges to classic books instead. 

Feel free to send me a message with any of your favorite challenges/bans. They might end up on the blog. 

“Once you’re over 45, you can skip the experimental fiction.”

Once you’re over 45, you can skip the experimental fiction.”

“If any of my friends EVER sends me a letter like this I swear I’ll burn it.”

If any of my friends EVER sends me a letter like this I swear I’ll burn it.”

“I really did not enjoy this play. It however proved to be useful in figuring out who the misogynists in my English class are.”

I really did not enjoy this play. It however proved to be useful in figuring out who the misogynists in my English class are.”

“This book is teaching kids false information about Witches. We don’t turn children into mouses and kill them. We are normal people!”

This book is teaching kids false information about Witches. We don’t turn children into mouses and kill them. We are normal people!”

“Maybe I’m an idiot ( and that is quit possible ) the book made absolutly no sense.”

Maybe I’m an idiot ( and that is quit possible ) the book made absolutly no sense.”

“Story has good twists, but there are too many French places and people…”

Story has good twists, but there are too many French places and people…”

“A rich old man goes to Africa to find himself, only to get tangled up in one huge, extended metaphor with a lion.”

A rich old man goes to Africa to find himself, only to get tangled up in one huge, extended metaphor with a lion.”